After Everything
by Jwess
Summary: My version of why Lily and James finally got together. Heavily influenced by the song "Must get out" by Maroon5. James always wanted to be there for Lily. Despite everything she put him through.


**After Everything**

My version of why Lily and James finally got together.

This story if heavily influenced by the song "Must get out" by Maroon5, I highly suggest listening to it before or after reading this story.

*Disclaimer: I own nothing. It all belongs to JK Rowling and Maroon5*

"Lily, please wait, just give me a chance, please, go out with me?" I pleaded with the unattainable redhead, who happened to be the love of my life.

I still held onto the hope that I would someday hear the word I had been dreaming of, come from your mouth.

She turned to glare at me, "What part of never going to happen don't you understand Potter?" She huffed then swiftly turned away.

I tried to laugh it off with Sirius, and suggested a prank on the Slytherin third years, but even he could see the hurt in my eyes. I told him I forgot my books in class and slipped into an empty corridor. "Why won't she just give me a chance?" I asked myself. I tried to fight the tears I knew would come. It had been this way for years. I knew I should just get over you but I couldn't.

You are the one.

I remember every rejection like it was yesterday, everyone cut just a little deeper than the last, until I couldn't take anymore. I told myself I was only making you unhappy and resolved to stop asking you out.

I had publically given up on Lily Evans at the end of sixth year when it finally hit me that you would never love me back.

At first I tried seeing other people, but no one could compare to the fire that was Lily Evans. No other girl had that look in their eyes, or that free spirit that said "I don't give a fuck what you think, but if you deserve me I can give you the world."

In seventh year we were both assigned head boy and girl and moved into our new dorms.

At first I hoped that maybe you would give me a chance this year but you shattered that hope with your first cold look on the train. We made the unspoken decision to completely ignore each other despite our close quarters unless are head duties necessitated interaction. It killed me to know how close you were and not be able to talk to you.

It was around the second week of school that I first noticed the crying.

At first, it was red eyes and splotchy cheeks, but one night I was sitting in my room, quidditch practice had been canceled so I was catching up on overdue work. You must not have realized I was there, because when I looked in the common room you were sitting on the couch balling your eyes out. I didn't know what to do, all I wanted was to be able to go to you and comfort you but how could I when you wouldn't even look at me. You cried for two hours that night, before slowly walking up to your room.

The next day while you were at extra potions, I decided I needed to figure out why you were so upset. I snuck into your room in hopes of finding some clue. I looked at your perfectly organized desk and trunk, before I vainly searched your dresser drawers.

Finally I gave up searching your room and decided I would have to ask you. You couldn't keep it all inside, it wasn't healthy.

I was in my room when you returned and the first thing I heard was your cries. I tried to closed my eyes, but I couldn't take your pain anymore so I ran downstairs to you.

When I saw you huddled on the couch my heart broke you looked so sad. Your once vibrantly curly red hair looked flat and somehow darker, your beautiful green eyes were rimmed with red, and you were desperately hugging your knees. This wasn't the Lily I knew. The Lily I knew never cried, you were a fighter. I enveloped you in a hug, lifting you up and carrying you to your bed before letting you down and tucking you in.

I turned to leave, but you grabbed my arm and whispered "I need you." It was the saddest, most beautiful, sound I had ever heard. I didn't want to upset you so I stayed the night in your bed, just holding you and stroking your hair.

It was the best night of my life.

When I woke up the next morning you were gone and I reluctantly assumed she didn't want to acknowledge the previous night. I couldn't help the disappointment and sadness that came with your leaving me. It killed me but I knew I needed to do what you wanted. As the day dragged on all I could think about was you and the way it felt to hold you close.

After quidditch practice, I went to my room to finish a paper and try to go to sleep.

I was woken at three am by I crying redhead crawling into my bed.

The next day I took up my search of your room again, this time in earnest. I knew you wouldn't tell me what had happened and I had to know what had upset you this much so I could help you. I searched your desk then while I was fumbling through your dresser draw, I heard a door slam shut and looked up, startled. You were standing there, red eyed, fierce and beautiful.

You told me to leave and then locked the door. I tried to tell you I just wanted to help but you wouldn't listen. I walked slowly to my room and was surprised to feel my own tears streaming down my face.

It still hurt, all of the things you put me through. I stood there thinking about you and how you had never even given me a chance. I heard the door creak open and turned around to see your surprised face.

"Are, are you okay?" you whisper to me, concern evident on your face.

"No" I replied, "Are you?"

She looked at me with tears still flowing down her face, "Not yet."


End file.
